Why more women are saying ‘no’ to marriage and motherhood—and what’s driving the shift

You see, I’ve hit that age—20-something, teetering on the brink of disaster— where my mum’s and my worries collide: “Time to settle down, eh?,” she quips each time she catches me doomscrolling, hoping I’d spent those wee hours vetting eligible bachelors instead.

Dinner table conversations have matured from “how was your first day?” to “when is the day?”, and family gatherings lend the perfect opportunity to expedite the inevitable—marriage, kids...you get the drift.

As I inch closer to dirty thirty, my anxiety is at its peak, with no man in sight. Do I envision a family portrait up on the wall? Sure, someday. Today, or in the near future? Perhaps not. The thing is, our forebears have us believe that motherhood—ensuing marriage, of course—is a rite of passage to womanhood. We dare not tread the road less travelled, for it will infringe upon this prevailing narrative. Stats, however, suggest otherwise.

Based on Morgan Stanley forecasts (rise of the SHEconomy report) and Census Bureau historical data, 45 per cent of prime working-age women, between 25–44, will be single and childless by 2030...the largest share in history. But since the scope of this survey is limited to the West, Cosmo India did one of its own—and findings were, well, divided.

A staggering 60 per cent of our readers concur with the above, as per the Cosmo India survey*, while 56 per cent want to experience parenthood.

“Women are no longer succumbing to societal pressure—or a ticking biological clock. The focus has shifted from just getting married, to getting married to the right person,” says actor and digital content creator Nauheed Cyrusi.

The results of our internal survey tell a similar tale: 60 per cent of participants aren’t currently in a relationship because “they haven’t found the right person.” Has it really become so difficult to find “the one” in our swipe-right era? Or are dating apps the real culprits...tainting the meet cute? That’s a conversation for another day.

It seems more women are delaying marriages or choosing to stay single (and mingle), and see children as no less than a liability. Upon casually questioning my 32-year-old colleague about her circle, she says, “The majority of my friends want to stay single; kids? They’d rather keep pets.” Research has corroborated these claims, revealing that about 70 per cent of millennials consider pets akin to their children...encouraging them to renounce “traditional” parenthood.

Besides financial implications—and cats and dogs—a considerable share of our respondents hold ‘career growth’ and ‘lifestyle adjustments’ reason enough to steer clear of motherhood. Meanwhile, activists debate the ethicality of having children in the face of the climate crisis—arguably one of the biggest contributors to an individual’s carbon footprint.

“With crime rates and pollution levels at an all-time high, do we really want to bring new life into this world?” my colleague retorted, leading me to wonder whether what’s driving this trend goes beyond the indelible influence of the West.

Then there’s the rise of the DINK (double income, no kids) phenomenon, with Gen Zs— and the younger lot of millennials—prioritising career advancement and financial stability over starting a family. “‘A child completes the home’ is a load of hogwash...my husband Rustom and I are childless yet content, with absolutely no complaints. We have pets!,” Cyrusi exclaims.

But what about those who have ‘been around the block’, so to speak? An astounding 80 per cent of our readers believe divorced, single mothers have it harder when it comes to finding a new partner. And while these stats mirror our society’s internalised misogyny, Nauheed promptly advocates for a change in mindset.

“What about the divorced men? Why is nobody talking about them? Isn’t it ironic that divorced men repudiate divorced women? Compatibility is what counts...for those looking to find a life partner, being a ‘divorcee’ should be the least of their worries,” she adds.

Now would it be entirely dubious to draw a parallel between this mentality and the emotional maturity of men? A recent study by Nickelodeon UK established that men mature a whole decade after women, at the age of 43. Could this, indeed, sway the statistic? I’ll bet my bottom dollar. Either way, we’ll know in five years time.

The prospect of marriage and/or children is enticing no doubt, but not at the mercy of desperation or any cultural code of conduct. Fun fact: Women are more likely to— if at all—date AI chatbots in 2025...with China leading the charge. So let’s just say I haven’t found the “right” person yet, and I’m willing to wait till he comes around—else, I’ll just settle for a virtual boyfriend (more emotional maturity perhaps?).

First things first: Are you in a relationship? If not, why?

12% had a recent break-up
60% haven’t found the right person 
8% prefer staying single 
19% didn’t specify the reason 

How to find a potential partner in 2025?

Out of the people we spoke to...
21% said dating apps 
40% said via family or friends 
29% said meet-cute 
10% didn’t specify 

Tell us: Do you ever want to have children?

56% said yes
20% said no 
25% said maybe 

*our respondents: 65.4% women, 34.5% men, with 73.2% b/w ages 25-44.

Lead image credit: IMDb 

This article first appeared in the January-February 2025 print edition of Cosmopolitan India. 

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